With each passing day that I am a mother I realize one thing; I do not have all the answers, in fact, each new day has the potential for fresh, shall we say, "circumstances", just to remain positive and not say "disasters", and each one needs a brand spankin' new response.
Tears dried and caveat aside, there is beauty and pure goodness in each child (and in most adults as well). When I yell or accuse (also called reminding the kid what they did or did not do, again), this addresses only the ugly, the unworthy, or perhaps simply my perception of the actions I am reprimanding.
I want to encourage the kindness, honesty and beauty within. Gentle, respectful treatment is the only way to speak to the love just waiting to reach out from my child's heart, if only it is not squashed by mistrust, impatience and anger. Right this minute, with the house quiet and peaceful, I take a breath and remind myself to honor the true child within.