Homeschooling, Working and Routine

OK, this is my game plan, still in the testing stages. It is born of eight months of experience, many moments of worry and many happy hours of planning. Many mothers have a lot more years of doing this than I do, but each family is an individual unit made up of unique individuals. I am looking for a method that will work for us. 

First things first; consistency and rhythm. My first two children were brought up on a strict schedule. I only had two, and they were close in age, it was easy. By the time baby no. 3 arrived, they were in preschool, which meant drop-offs during morning nap time and pick-ups during afternoon nap time. This sweet girl would sleep in her car seat, or on the floor even (the proof that one has more than 2 kids), so things were still pretty easy. After that, I kept to a fairly regular routine, despite two more children, my husband working changing shifts for three years and new activities at new times. 

As the baby has become a four-year-old and largely immune to the need for naps, as the older children have reclaimed a later bedtime, and since I've begun working,  schedules have fluctuated and become less rigid, less predictable. This has not been without consequences. Behavior troubles have sky-rocketed and sibling rivalry has reached an all-time bad level. How do I know it's about rhythm?

This is what I've heard from them: "why are you messing up our schedule to go do something else??" (i.e. an unscheduled visit to someone in a nursing home.) Or yet again, "we never have any time at home." These are children who are homeschooled, who only go out for park day, kung-fu or theatre, guitar class, church, girl scouts, museum visits, twice (at least) weekly library trips, "play dates", (I hate that word), occasional errands to the grocery or thrift store, walks in the woods or family outings. No wonder they are socially handicapped, poor things. True, some of these outings have been increasingly moved to the am when we normally stay home and take care of chores and school, both because of my work schedule and because of evening activities. That does create a sense of chaos for some of my children. They are the ones who need me to create order for them in their world. I will honor that for the sake of their sanity and mine. 

I am renewing my commitment to stability and a regular rhythm. This, for us, means to bed on time, up and ready at a certain time, breakfast over, chores done, computer turned off and ready for a walk. The two weeks they spent at theatre camp were so refreshing this summer because those were the rules and they understood why they needed them; otherwise they could not stay awake, much less function in a 7-hr. a day intensive program. We were all ready and productive at 8:30 am. I loved it. Not to say that this cannot happen when we stay home, but the pressure is not there. For many, this is one of the great advantages to homeschooling. In my opinion, that is their right and privilege; having the option to run your house and your timetable the way you choose. This is freedom, this is why we love our lifestyle.

Next, a plan not unlike that of the past; walk, morning greeting (reciting together our poem of the week for the older ones, circle time for the two youngest), first hour, first assignment, this is when I will have a lesson with my first-grader, occupy my preschooler. Second 90 minutes second assignment, with each of the older three taking a turn with a younger one to read for 15-30 minutes while I give individual lessons or help to one of the others. Last 30 minutes; read aloud with Mama, all together. Then lunch; we always eat lunch and supper together, individual quiet time for an hour, and resume any other work left unfinished. Then it will be time for kung-fu or the library, unless there is a scheduled chiro, doctor or dental visit.

It sounds simple, but so many variables can easily get in the way of keeping to this schedule; doctors who need to be seen at 10am, friends who need a babysitter, an unfinished project from the day before, and work. The very nature of my work as an interpreter is to be available as much as possible. This can get tricky when a call comes for surgery at 5:30 am the next day or an emergency room right now. I hope by firmly re-establishing our rhythm, it will be easier for the children to carry on in my absence. Is it harder without me? Sure. Are they learning important life skills by coping on their own and getting along together without an adult? Definitely. As often as possible, their father will be working from home while I go to work, but they will still need to stick to the schedule in order to accomplish their work and to keep it all nice and peaceful. I will restrict my hours to no more than 2 days a week. I really do love being home with them. I believe that being a homemaker is a full-time, true occupation. I believe in being there, creating and maintaining this harmonious place. I love my work too, and like millions of women past and present, I am hoping to combine the two successfully. If you find yourself doing the same, your thoughts are most welcome. Good luck to you!

Tuxy the Ten-Inch Teddy Bear

Puppy!

We have a new member of the family. He is black and curly and weighs 2.8lbs or 1.4kilos. He is a love and a joy and a challenge all at once.

The story of where he came from and how he got here is one of so much emotion that I had to give the events a good long while to dissipate in my guilty conscience before I tried to set them down. Jasper, our adorable cockapoo, was a fearful, damaged dog. His life path had been strewn with  too much trouble to allow us to bring him to a complete recovery . He was with us for 8 months, and in that time made great amounts of progress, but his dangerous, spontaneous biting habit was one he never conquered. He would get anxious when the kids were running around and bite one as he chased and perhaps herded them into safer play. That was the predictable reaction. The other sort was, as  happened one time too often, to suddenly snarl and chomp. The last time he did this was to a small neighbor girl and it was frightening for all involved. It was time to find him another home.

That was definitely the worst week of the summer. We all loved him so and we were all upset, but none so much as the children. Pierre and I could reason in adult terms; this dog was hurting our children and endangering our family's stability with the constant threat of a liability suit. For the children, Jasper had become a part of our family and we are not the kind of family who abandons one of their number simply because they are a hopeless cause. It was out of a desire to protect the children that we came to our conclusion; try explaining that to them!

A month or so went by and the thought of another dog was present, but I did not intend to do anything about it before a little more time and thought had gone into it, as well perhaps a vacation as a family, sans dog. However, one day I was with Aragorn at the pet/garden store, picking up a jalepeno plant, when our dog trainer spotted us and strode over to greet us. "How are you? I'm so sorry about Jasper, how is everyone doing?" My tough, 13-year old was in tears in 2 minutes. "Come on," says Ben, I have someone you have to meet. I have just the right dog for you, you need to start fresh with a new puppy." "I don't think we're quite ready for that yet..." I began, as I followed him through the store. It's a small, family-owned business and the pups are kept in big cages with cage buddies, not in little boxes in a window. You can ask to see a puppy and hold and play with them. We visited often with the puppies there, as well as the birds and kittens and bunnies..., but there is something special about a puppy. A week and a half earlier, Alienor, 9, and I had lost our hearts to a sweet, black little ball of fur, but knew better than to bring home an unplanned puppy. We played with him for half an hour or so and were so impressed with his sweet-natured self and liveliness.

Here today, Ben, the best dog-trainer in all the world, was holding up a darling little black face that was already familiar to me, urging; "just look at that face. Isn't he cute? How could you not take him home with you?" (Of course he was cute, he was the cutest puppy in the whole world, hadn't we already become besotted of him?) "Nuh-uh, not in the plans for today, leaving this weekend." "I have been training his brother and sister for a week now, they are so smart, they are really great dogs. I think he would be perfect for your family." And Ben does know our family, as he has been visiting us at home for the past 8 months, working with dog no.1.

I countered with, "wouldn't it be dangerous for him in our house with all of the feet? He's so little. How big will he get? 8lbs?! That is really small, good purse dog, if that is what you're after. I was not, or was I? Wasn't our vehicle already full when we went on road trips with five children? Did we really need to add the bulk of a giant dog as well? Is there ever a perfect time to adopt a new dog? (My husband would say; "yes, never." I say life sends us signs sometimes that we would do well to heed. We missed our dog, this one needed a home, we were receiving expert advice, without even seeking it.

So, after bringing the other children to meet him, and being begged from the very bottoms of each one's heart to bring him home, then leading Pierre to the pet store after a pleasant meal on our date night, we adopted our little Tuxy into our home. I am presenting him to you in all his puppiness and not-so-camera-easy, blackness!

Planning Lessons and Bilingual Families

I wonder if every parent of bilingual children comes to this point one day or another: to compel or not to compel a reluctant or just not so enthusiastic child to speak, read and write in his second language as well as in the first. 

Pierre and I have decided to pursue a formal level of grammar and composition in French for the children this year (the ones who are 9-14). We have come to the conclusion that since being truly bilingual means the written as well as the spoken language, it is high time the older children knew how to construct a proper sentence in French; spelling, conjugated verbs and all. This is contrary to the way I have watched these same children evolve in English. They are constant readers who are always either reading or listening to a book. Apart from a brief foray into the incredibly uninteresting world of "First Grammar Lessons," in the early years, we have never done any formal language lessons. Yet their writing is fine, rich and varied in vocabulary and expressions. True, there is a need for editing for spelling and some punctuation, but no more than an average child of their age would require.

It's just not the same in French. After years of reading to them in French, some reading on their own and the occasional letter to the relatives over there, we have simply not spent the same amount of time on the written language. They can speak fluently and they think that is pretty cool now, but learning to spell is not quite as fun or cool. 

Yet, it is what must happen. There are opportunities that will only be open to them at certain ages and only if they can read and write French at a high school level. As the adults, we know that these are a privilege. To let them pass by the chance to go to college for free, for example, would simply be negligence, and I think they would resent me later for not being stricter while they were in my care. 

Some part of me though, is wondering if my reasoning is any different than parents who keep their children at baseball or cello practice long after they are bored with it and tired out, under guise of "opportunity". I would argue that language is a natural part of being human and our family's identity is  tied into these two languages that compose our world. My unschooling, trust-your-children mind wants all learning to stem from a true desire to do so, from a place of pure joy and auto-inspiration. I think all the schools in the world would ideally be libraries, the knowledge and people of knowledge there for the seeking, never forced, never a chore.

Ah, but some things in life do not come easily. This will be a year of gentle encouragement and lively teaching as we tackle French grammar, among other things, together. Du gateau?

Dubious Impetus

I bet that anyone who bothered to read about what I had for breakfast last week, maybe the week before,  is wondering; "what?" or "who cares?"

Well, there was a reason behind the folly and menu. I heard a man's voice on the radio saying something idiotic like: "Statistics state that a woman over 40 has to work out for one hour every day just to maintain her current weight. One hour a day at the gym, to not even lose weight? That's crazy! That's why I want to offer you the opportunity to try my super-weight-loss-smoothie. For just $5 a day, you can eat and lose weight too...blah, blah, blah."

With all of my love and respect for people who sell nutritional shakes that truly help people recover health and well-being (and a comfortable weight), I just don't see the point if you know how to eat a balanced diet, or make your own smoothie from fresh ingredients. When one goes from eating hot dogs, soda and chips 3 times a day to a nutritionally balanced shake full of vitamins and good things, it is an improvement. An expensive improvement, but nonetheless better than the aforementioned diet.

So that was my response to the trend of paying someone else to mix up a blend of vitamins and stuff for you: DYI is really not just something you can do, but something it is easy and healthier to do.

This is true in many areas that are taken for granted today as having one way of being done; diapering and cleaning baby bottoms; no wipes? Try running water over the area in a pinch or when the mess is big, (don't forget to take off the socks). Keep a small baggie with a couple of cloth wipes moistened in lavender water for your purse.  Add a little tea tree oil to keep fresher longer. Think outside the box and our current time frame for anything disposable; paper towels, how about a rag drawer or bag? People did clean 100 years ago, and their environmental footprint remained microscopic compared to today. In France, homemakers and janitors still keep "la serpiere", a big, all-purpose, thick rag that can be pushed on the end of a mop to wipe up spills. Rinse, ring and wipe again.

When in doubt, just ask yourself; "What would Ma have done in her little house in the big woods?"

I have many friends who inspire me with their "from scratch" and "make it yourself" lifestyles. I know people who make everything from bread to clothing to pizza ovens. What sorts of things do you do yourself?

Here is another smoothie recipes for you, should you be so inclined to try one:

Collard greens, ripped up; fill the blender
1T frozen orange juice
a handful of frozen berries
1 scoop of protein powder
2 canned pear or peach halves
milk of choice

Cold and Spicy Breakfast Smoothie Anybody?

I've been making my own smoothies with diverse ingredients for longer than the word "smoothie" existed. Back in high school I worked in an ice cream shop and learned to make an orange julius with a real egg, real milk, orange sherbet and vanilla ice cream. Things have evolved a bit since then; the raw egg was last popular when I was expecting number four, the ice cream has been replaced by healthier ingredients. Now that I have reached a certain, we'll say, amount of years, at times a return to smoothie meals is a way of helping with weight control, as well as detoxing. I have many different ingredients I toss in the blender. I always start with greens of some sort; parsley and kale, spinach, etc. Protein powder, in a rice or soy form, is added, frozen berries, milk. It's an easy way to get a bunch of nutrition and little calories.

This morning's meal was composed primarily of what remained in my bag of greens; mustard greens. To their credit, mustard greens are a known anti-cancer vegetable, they may also be helpful when one suffers from colds, arthritis or depression. Enough good reasons to incorporate them into one's diet, right? Well...

To the mustard greens in the blender, I added fresh strawberries, a tablespoon of frozen orange juice, a frozen yogurt the kids forgot in the freezer, half a frozen banana, ice cubes and a little soy milk. Mmm, it was an interesting mix, smelled like a fresh garden harvest, tasted good until it got half-way down, then the spicy hit. At first it was a sort of pleasant, pinch of cayenne pepper thing. As I drank, it became a little more powerful, still tolerable, but increasingly reminiscent of the "breakfasts" the Mexican cooks would make us when I worked in a Chinese restaurant in college. (These were always hotter when the cook was homesick or mad at a waitress.) I think I may have heart burn all day. I had to wash the whole thing down with an extra chocolate protein drink, life is the pits. I'll stick to collard greens and kale tomorrow.

For the rest of the family, it was a cooking and baking day. The kids woke to the odors of fresh chocolate bread baking (which was not for breakfast, but for park day). They requested bacon and eggs, which were cooked and served. Milk became an issue; we were almost out. You would not believe the panic in a house where children all think they deserve the last glass of milk in the gallon! Really though, there was more like a quart of milk left, enough to do something creative with.  Smoothies for them too, more bananas, no collard greens. I figured that would hold them for a little while. I made a second chocolate bread (my recipe; sort of a challa with Ghiradelli chocolate chips, sprinkled with raw sugar on top) to thank our neighbors who gave us a much-needed desk that perfectly fits the need Lily has for a larger one, such luck, such kindness! I prepared a quick picnic and we headed to the park. It was a fabulous day.

Food and Non-food

What do you eat? We've narrowed it down considerably in our home; we only eat it if it qualifies as food. That, however, is a point up for clarification and debate! What is your family's definition of food? Here is a great post on the less desirable ingredients included in a typical grocery store's aisles:
http://simplifylivelove.blogspot.com/2011/06/scary-foods-aspartame-rbgh-artifical.html

The Harvest...of Ragweed!

New Garden Boxes

Gardening Genius

Though my thumbs have become a little greener over the years, I admit to being a fair weather gardener at best. (When the weather is not too hot, I garden, the rest of the time, I hold my plants in light and love from the air-conditioned comfort of my back porch, cool drink in hand, with a promise to weed and water tomorrow.)

Some years we get amazing crops; basil, tomatoes, cucumbers, flowers to celebrate the sheer beauty of nature. This year I planted everything in square foot garden boxes and allowed the blooming bits to take over the space they formerly occupied in the plot out the back door. Only, I have yet to see a flower. Only, the green plants that LOOK as though they should bloom any minute are oddly familiar and making me nervous on a wholly intuitive level. I've been thinking I really should try to identify them, just in case. So I sat down with a plant in my hand and my computer on my lap this morning to tackle the problem.

I began with the species of golden rod, since the entire family is allergic to this little flower, come autumn when its pollen is released. My husband "grew into" his allergies after a year here, and he and Lily are the worst of the lot. Pierre is not a vacation kind of guy, so it was a surprise to hear him talk of leaving for a couple of weeks in August. Turns out he has been tracking the pollen count the past two years to find out how far north, west or any other direction we would need to go to be there when it is the worst part of the year here. Great lengths for a homebody to voyage.

As I cleared all of the species of goldenrod from identification, I scrolled down, scanning the list for something else this pretty little green thing could sound like. It was fern-like, delicate leaf structure, but looked as though it would grow sturdier. Then I spotted it, thought; "nah, probably not," but clicked anyway. There are actually two different plants that cause the pollen we are potentially fleeing come fall, one is goldenrod, and the other: RAGWEED. The picture was a perfect match.

Mild-mannered, eco-minded, nature-loving, kid-protective me was instantly on my feet, looking for my gardening gloves. Then, freaked out by the very number of weeds out there, (and the very hot degree of the temperature in the morning sun), I raced all around the garage looking for weed killer. Do we even own any weed killer? (I have forbidden its use, we're not supposed to have it on the premises.) How fast can I get it on there? Will it poison the tomatoes next to it? Do I care?

The bottle, when I found it, looked large and foreboding and seems to require mixing of some kind. I took a deep breath and decided to leave it for a little later. When I will give Pierre the great satisfaction of getting out his forbidden chemicals and taking care of those buggers. Though I think I will ask him, very nicely, to please leave the creeping charlie and the dandelions alone.

The Library

Now that summer is here and lessons are over for three months, my kids have one request that remains; "when are we going to the library?"

"What, again?! We were just there."

"I have holds."  "We haven't been for three days!" "I read all my books." "We're driving to XYZ, we need audio books!" "No, I want to go to the other branch!"

I have been forced to concede, after my children pointed it out to me, that I could have bigger complaints of them. They could be clamoring for a trip to just about any other kid hangout (but I would probably say "no", so that argument is out.) They could be sulking in their rooms, which they do sometimes, or talking on the phone, which they do not do, but instead, they are reading, a lot. And our local libraries (yes, plural!) are a fabulous resource. We have access to inter-library loan, which means we can request books from all over the US and have them delivered for free to our local library.

Then there is the  summer reading program. Ah, the root of many bad habits or a boon to children and adults? I have always opposed the principle of paying kids to read. I would prefer they learn to love literature and books through being read to from an early age. I believe that reading has its own inherent worth that outweighs any made-up contest to see who can earn the most points by amassing pages read. However, it does work on some level.  Kids who read become kids who read a LOT for a short period of time. For an intensive two weeks that it takes to get to the 1200 pages or minutes of reading, that is all they do when they are not outside playing. So, year after year, we sign up for, participate in, and love, the summer reading program. Most years we do two of them, as long as the books are different ones for each form turned in.

Our quietest car rides? The ride back from the library, when all five kids have their new treasures in hand, is one on which I often find myself counting little heads in the rear-view mirror to make sure I haven't forgotten anyone.

If you have not yet, get into the library habit. If your children don't love it, you might. Check out a few books of your own each time to set a good example, and let them see you reading those books (the knitting section is beyond belief, FYI!)

Checking out the Flood

The Birthday Guy and a Friend

May Altar/Nature Table

Knitting: Little Pouches for Easter